Headlines

I should say,
Headlines and Responses to Said Headlines: 
This is fun and really really cathartic and may become a regular piece here on my blog, because I love to offer my opinions.  ALWAYS.

If Woods Plays Well, Retailers Will Smile
Obviously, those retailers and marketers have not asked me, the happily-married, middle-aged woman in rural  Kansas.  Because I can tell you, I don't want to have a THING to do with the Nike swoosh.  Or anything else that man has put his name or sport to.  Don't you retailers go thinking I am forgetful or dimwitted.  Your spokesman goofed up BIGTIME and I don't like it.  Your brand suffers.  If Woods plays well...I do not care, one little whit.

Santa Monica sushi restaurant closes after serving whale meat
Well.  duh.

Anna Nicole Smith Estate Loses J. Howard Marshall Fortune in Court
He's dead, she's dead.  The only ones gaining from this hoo-hah are the attorneys!  Come on, you people!

This is from my DRIVEL FILE and not even a headline - it is a quote:
"I would never have hooked up with him if I thought he was a married man," Michelle  "Bombshell" McGee" tells In Touch in an exclusive interview. "He gave me the impression they were separated."
Married, separated, whatever.  They are not divorced.  That means they are still MARRIED!!

Mo'Nique to Sandra Bullock: ...
I am not interested in what Mo'Nique has to say to Sandra Bullock, but I AM curious about that apostrophe in her name.  What letter or phrase is missing in that moniker, anyway?

Implanted Neurons Let the Brain Rewire Itself Again
Now, this is the kind of headline that I love.  Somebody, somewhere, is doing something other than having affairs, eating whales, suing for millions, or goofing up standard American punctuation.  

Ah!  How cathartic this has been!  Thank you for your ear!  (Or eyes...)